@Sunny Wang: do you have your wallet?
@Martin Wang: [slaps his ass so hard everyone can hear it]
Zhang: [sighs] ...i do not.

@Johannes Runcorn: so here’s the cold medicine you asked for.
Jo: *dumps 3 shopping bags of wine on the table*
@Numa Williams: ......

@Diana Selvaggio: Fuck.
@Baruch Moran: We have got to work on your cursing.
Diana: Why? I'm pretty good at cursing already.

Les VB

Markus : Waffles are just pancakes with abs
Anya : Markus, it's 4 in the morning.

Svet : y-you're cooking ?
Engel : Well, you've been working so hard lately, and I just wanted to do something nice for you.
Svet :
Svet : But instead, you cooked ?

Markus : Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.
@Ulrike Von Bäume :
Uli : I don't like this.

Engel : You're completely useless in hospitals. I remember one time, you cried, and cried and cried. It was awful.
Niklas :
Niklas : Are you, by any chance, referring to my birth ?

Markus : I can explain !
Svet : Can you ?
Markus : If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.

@Wolfram von Bäume : What do you call breaking the rules ?
Uli : A hobby.
Wolf :
Uli : That I... do not engage in.

Engel : Would you like a drink ?
@Lance Farrow : What are my options ?
Engel : Yes or no.

Wolf : Hmm gay rights for me only I think ? The rest of you are on your own.

Marlon : Please si in this chair. I'd like to ask you some questions.
Wolf whispering to Engel : Deny.
Engel : That's not a chair.


LES GREYBACK

@Sally Greyback : I have grown to care for each and everyone of you. I will make sure to be present at your funerals.
@Hoshi Greyback : Why didn't you say weddings ?
@Vasco Greyback : Or birthdays ?
@Danielle Greyback : More importantly, why are you so certain I'm dying before you?

Fish : We need a distraction.
@Fenrir Greyback : Are any of you good at jumping up and down and making annoying noises ?
Caleb : My time to shine.

Fenrir : People treat me like a god.
Fenrir : They ignore me until they need something from me.


@Asano Greyback : Did you know jellyfish have survived for 600000 years without brain?
@Baltasar Greyback : A ray of hope for my brother Gy.

LA PLEBE

Louis : Didn't you die ?
@Marlon Travers : That was like, an hour ago. People change.

Lance : What are you writing ?
@Gina Marsh : They want to know what kind of weapons I have back at my apartment. I'm letting them know it's private information.
Lance : This just says "fuck around and found out" in calligraphy.
Gina : hm.

@Paris Hepburn :*sneeze*
Paris : ...You're really not going to say "bless you"?
@Charybdis Kang : I'm sitting here with you. You've clearly already been blessed.

@Stanislav Tolkien, screaming: YOU MEAN A LOT TO ME!
@Verdandi Shark : Wh-
Stan: YOU’RE ESSENTIAL TO MY EXISTENCE!
Verdi: Why are you screaming?!
Stan: I HAVE DIFFICULTY EXPRESSING MYSELF! IT HELPS TO SAY SENTIMENTAL THINGS IN AN AGGRESSIVE TONE!
Verdi:
Stan: I FUCKING LOVE YOU!

@Kamala Chase : Sooo...do you wanna to go out on a date with me?
@Martin Wang : Give me a second to think about it.
[hours later]
Martin: I've thought about it and yes I will marry you.

@Neith Burke : *laughs*
@Callum Selwyn : Disgusting.
Callum : Do it again.

Anyone: You're petty.
@Madelaine Malfoy : You mispronounced pretty but okay.

@Ivan Lebedev : I like my women like I like my weapons. Sharp and ready to murder.
@Salamanca Medeiros : I’m going to stab you-
Ivan : I am unbelievably turned on right now.

@Dennis Creevey : What are you eating?
@Caesar Rosier : A family sized bag of chips.
Dennis: But that’s a normal bag of chips.
Caesar: Everything’s family sized when you’re an orphan.
Dennis:

@Dante Burke : I'm not bitter.
@Anthea Rowle, narrating: He was bitter.

@Yelena Dolohova : What’s the first thing you notice when a man approaches you?
@Feodora Dolohova : The audacity.

@Maeve Castellan : can you at least TRY to see things from my level?
@Shōta Purville : *crouches down*
Maeve : I will kill you in your sleep.

@Charybdis Kang : I suppose I have a slight tendency to be a bit critical.
@Zanjin Kang : Suppose?!
@Margaret Sowerberry : Slight?!
@Stanislav Tolkien : Tendency?!
@Verdandi Shark : A bit?!

@Ginevra Weasley : So, do you like Luna?
@Neville Longbottom : I don’t know. What does that even mean? Do I think about her constantly? Yes. Have I named our kids? Yes. Does she smell like wildflowers? Of course! But do I like her? I don’t know.

@Blaise Zabini : I am way too handsome for all of them to be this angry at me.

@Silver Marsh, introducing Gina: This is my better half.
@Gina Marsh, introducing Silver: This is my bitter half.

@Bertram Prewett : Yeah, I'm down. Can I bring my weird roommate along?
@Myrthild Travers : Can you stop calling me that now that we're married.

@Verdandi Shark : Ow! My armkle!
@Charybdis Kang : Your what?
@Stanislav Tolkien, sighing : Her wrist.

@Noam Harris, really drunk: I love you.
@Ethan Herrera : Is that you or the tequila talking?
Noam: That’s me talking to the tequila.

@Tristram Bullstrong : I'm not going to fight you!
@Faye Moroz : Why, because I'm a woman?
Tristram: No, because you're scary.
Faye: Oh alright.

@Malachi Walsh : You like girls?
@Rafaela Goyle : Well, that is sort of an entry-level requirement for being a lesbian.

@Hermione Granger : I only argue when I'm right, which is why I'm always arguing.

@Ezekiel Zabini : People hate me because I'm rich.
Ezekiel: But I worked very hard to get where I am today.
Ezekiel: I had to be born.
Ezekiel: And keep living.
Ezekiel: And not die.
@Celyn Rosier : ...wtf-
Ezekiel: It's exhausting.

@Marlon Travers : Do you take constructive criticism?
@Madelaine Malfoy : I only take cash or credit.

@Maeve Castellan : Can you just think about what you’re asking me?
@Shōta Purville : I am asking you to do me a favor.
Maeve: Youre asking me to be your wife!

@Salamanca Medeiros : What are you, 12?
@Ivan Lebedev : Yeah, on a scale of 0-10.

@Callistus Rhodes: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me.
@Numa Williams: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you?
Calix: Yes!
@Baruch Moran: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.

@Kashmira Martillo: Nothing in life is free.
@Thomas Brisbane: Love is free!
@Dwight Brisbane: Adventure is free.
Leonor Martillo: Knowledge is free.
@Nathan Brisbane: Everything is free if you take it without paying.

@Ginevra Weasley: Is stabbing someone immoral?
@Dean Thomas: Not if they consent to it.
@Seamus Finnigan: Depends who you’re stabbing.
@Maxine Zhao: YES?!?

@Felicia Fawley: *holding a bottle* Is this whiskey or perfume?
@Finnegan Fawley: *chugs entire bottle*
Finnegan: It’s perfume.

@Göran Falk: Welcome, fellow idiots
@Lance Farrow: Hello, Göran
Göran: No, no, not you, you're not an idiot
Lance: You underestimate me

tw- propos sexuels

Spoiler:

@Aine Kane: WHAT’S YOUR TYPE
@Andrew Shepard: Anything, honestly, but nerds especially
Aine, desperately, as Andrew bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE
Andrew: Oh! B positive.
Aine: DONT TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE
Andrew:

@Rory O'Connor : Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?
@Remy Lynch: You’re a hazard to society
@Eryn Ó Muircheartach : And a coward. DO TWENTY.

Nouvelle fournée pour aujourd’hui

@Olivia Rashford: This is such a bad idea.

@Göran Falk : Then why are you coming along?

Liv: One of us need to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

@Sinead Bullstrong: So what’s for dinner? 

@Matthew Bullstrong, staring at the food they just burnt: Regret.

Sirius Black: *screams*
@Remus Lupin: *Screams louder to assert dominance*

 @Molly Weasley: Should we do something?! 

@Minerva McGonagall, observing: No, I want to see who wins this.

@Seamus Finnigan: Dean isn’t answering his phone

@Neville Longbottom: I’ll call

Seamus: @Cormac McLaggen and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-

@Dean Thomas: Hello?

Leonor Martillo: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?
@Elena Alvarez: *turning to  @Nathan Brisbane* How tall are you?

@Kingsley Shacklebolt : Come on, I wasn’t that drunk last night.
@Johannes Runcorn: You were flirting with Attia.
Kingsley: So what? She’s my partner.
Johannes: You asked her if she was single.
kingsley:
Johannes: And then you cried when she said she wasn’t.

@Marlon Travers: Why are your tongues purple?

@Silver Marsh : We had slushies. I had a blue one.

Gina Marsh: I had a red one.

Marlon: oh

Marlon:

Marlon: OH

@Freya Abbott :

Freya: You drank each other's slushies?

Tilly Sacramoni: Why are you on the floor?

@Logan Alvarez : I'm depressed.
Logan: Also I was stabbed, can you get  @Lucjan Sacramoni , please.

@Taliesin de Briancourt: I was arrested for being too cool.

@Dae-won Song: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.

@Svetlana Von Bäume: You have to apologize to  @Engel Von Bäume
 @Piotr Shklyarov: Fine. 

Piotr: 'Unfuck you' or whatever.

@Nils Fitzroy: Liam, can I talk to you for a second?

@Liam Fitzroy: Yeah, what’s up? Lemme guess. You and @Bairagi Curran are having problems and you want me to teach you how to kiss?

Nils: What? No, stop that. I know how to kiss. I’ve read books.

@Boris Bagshot : If you had to choose between  @Rayane Flamel and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose? 

@Lucinda Seghezza: That depends, how much money are we taking about? 

Rayane: Lucia! 

Boris: 63 cents. 

Lucinda: I'll take the money.

Rayane: LUCIA!!!

'Can I copy the homework?' 

@Darragh Lynch: I can help you with it! 

@Beth Fitzroy: Yeah, sure. 

@Carmichael Connaught: Bold of you to assume I did the homework. 

@Otto Fitzroy : lol nope. 

@James Buchanan Jr: Wait, we had homework?!?!?! 

@Corban Yaxley: *Read 5:55pm*

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker* 

Glenn Ward: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know. 

Everyone: 

Remy: ...I did. I broke it.

Glenn: No. No you didn't. Mike? 

Mike: Don't look at me. Look at Aodhan. 

@Aodhàn McGrath: What?! I didn't break it. 

Mike: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken? 

Aodhan: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

Mike: Suspicious. 

Aodhan: No, it's not! 

@Keith Buckley: If it matters, probably not, but  @Maureen Ward  was the last one to use it. 

Maureen: Liar! I don't even drink that crap! 

Keith: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier? 

Maureen: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Keith! 

Remy: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Glenn.

Glenn: No! Who broke it!?

Everyone:

Keith: Glenn... Mike's been awfully quiet. 

Mike: rEALLY?! 

*Everyone starts arguing* 

Glenn, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. 

Glenn: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. 

Glenn: 

Glenn: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.


@Sunny Wang: You're a loose cannon, Kit.

 @Kit Xing: No, I'm not. I'm a cannon maybe, but a loose cannon? Is that what you think of me? 

@Bao Wang: I think you play by your own rules. 

@Fiona Lynch: No way, they think rules were made to be broken.

Sunny: Those are all attributes of a loose cannon. 

Kit: No, I'm just a reckless renegade. Carrie is a loose cannon. 

@Charybdis Kang: *smashes a chair*

@Charlotte Scully, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him

 @Rhys Lloyd: You did WHAT– 

@Lance Farrow: William Snakepeare

Nouvelle fournée du matin

@Corvus Travers: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them.
@Viktor Krum: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.

@Siham Al-Massri: I learned some very valuable lessons from this.
@Joseph Jane: I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away.
Siham: Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God.

@Noam Harris: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?
@Samuel Shah: >:O language
@Norah Rowland: Yeah watch your fucking language
@Amaya Walker: OKAY WHO TAUGHT NORAH THE FUCK WORD?
@Elliott Walsh: 'The fuck word'.
@Anthony Rogers: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time
Norah: Oh my god they censored it
Elliott: Say fuck, Anthony.
Norah: Do it, Anthony. Say fuck.

@Lesath Çelik: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming
@Mengwu Wang: Does anyone in this godforsaken group ever think before they speak

@Charybdis Kang: I know you snuck out last night, Stan.
@Verdandi Shark: Play dumb!
@Stanislav Tolkien: Who's stan?
Verdandi: NOT THAT DUMB!!!

@Rafaela Goyle: You love me, right, moon?
@Moon Shadow: Normally, I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don’t like it.

@Brygida Strugatsky, about  @Izar Zherdev: Apparently we’re getting someone new in the group.
@Mikhail Strugatsky: Are we stealing them?
@Zoya Strugatsky: New or used?
Brygida: Wonderful responses, both of you.

@Draco Malfoy: I think Ron was right.
@Harry Potter: I'm surprised they haven't marched in here to say 'I told you so.'
@Hermione Granger: They wouldn't do that.
@Ronald Weasley: You're right, Hermione. For once in your life, you're 100% right. I would never say that.
Ron: *turns around, the shirt they're wearing says 'Ron Told You So' on the back*

@Frida Beckett: Truth or dare?
@Philomène Flamel: Dare
Frida: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room
Philomène: Hey Elie
Elie Beckett, blushing: Yeah?
Philo: Could you move? I’m trying to get to Voldemort

@Jules Doherty: Oh just so you know, it's very muggy outside
@Jim Haggen:
Jim: Jules, I swear, if I step outside and all of our mugs are on the front lawn...
Jules: *Sips coffee from bowl*

@Ezekiel Zabini : Celyn and I don’t use pet names.
@Marlon Travers: I see. Hey, what do bees make?
Ezekiel: Honey?
@Celyn Rosier: Yes, dear?
Ezekiel:
Marlon: Don't ever lie to my face again.

@Lazarus Karkaroff: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.
@Thomas Brisbane: lazarus no.
Mira: Mistlefoe.
Tommy: Please stop encouraging him.

@Dante Burke: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. @Caleb Greyback's been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get them out...

@Cecil Warren: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.
@Markus Von Bäume: Wasn't Marlowe with you?
@Marlowe Hanmer: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

@Bartholomeus Prewett: What is your biggest weakness?
@Friedhelm Tiedemann: I can be uncooperative.
Bart: Okay, can you give me an example?
Fried: No.

Session familiale aujourd'hui
(la suite viendra demain)

@Otto Fitzroy: What does 'take out' mean?
@Nils Fitzroy: Food.
@Liam Fitzroy: Dating
@Beth Fitzroy: Murder
@Felix Wickham: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOU'RE NOT A COWARD.

@Carmichael Connaught: You know those things will kill you, right?
@Atropos Sacramoni, pouring another glass of whiskey: That’s the point.
@Lucjan Sacramoni, smoking a cigarette: We’re trying to speed up the process.
@"Mathilda Sacramoni": *Nods while eating raw cookie dough*

@Caractacus Sharp: If I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be trapped forever in that position, doomed to starve to death?
@Grant Sharp: How am I supposed to know?
Dani: You say, as if we don’t use you as a source of knowledge of the occult.
Grant: *sighs*
Grant: You wouldn't be trapped.

@Engel Von Bäume: We need to distract these guys
@Svetlana Von Bäume: Leave it to me
Svetlana: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.
@Markus Von Bäume, Anya, and @Ulrike von Bäume: *Immediately begin arguing*
@Wolfram von Bäume, watching in horror: Oh this. I don’t like this. I don't like this at all.

Glenn Ward (@Göran Falk): Favorite horror movie?
@Maureen Ward: It
@Diarmuid Ward: Saw
@Fiona Lynch: Annabelle
Connor Flowers: High School Musical. after watching it I spent all my middle school years terrified that the entire school would start singing something and I’d be the only one who didn’t know the lyrics

@Darragh Lynch: Can I be frank with you guys?
@Remy Lynch: Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help.
Cara: Can I still be Cara?
Donal: Shh, let Frank speak.

@Elena Alvarez, Javier, and @Esteban Alvarez are sitting on a bench
@Logan Alvarez: Why do you guys look so sad?
Elena: Sit down with us so we can tell you.
*Logan sits down*
Javier: The bench is freshly painted.

*The squad is having dinner together*
Philo: Rayane, can you pass the salt?
@Rayane Flamel: *Throws igor across the table

@Winston Karahalios: Perdita was banned from the chicken shack, so we had to go out of town to get some.
@Perdita Karahalios: Well, they shouldn’t say “all you can eat” if they don’t mean it.
Winston: Perdita, you ate a chair.

@Nathan Brisbane, texting @Thomas Brisbane: Tommy! Help I’m being kidnapped
Tommy: Where are you?
Nate: I’m with some strange person. In a car. Help.
Tommy: I’ll call Dwight.
@Dwight Brisbane, answering their cell: Y’ello?
Tommy: Where’s nate? He texted me that he was being kidnapped.
Dwight: Nate? Whaddya mean, he's right next to me-
Dwight:
Dwight: I’ll call you back. *hangs up*
Dwight: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN’T THAT BAD!
Nate: WHO ARE YOU?!

@Majid Al-Massri: Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys.
@Nadia Al-Massri: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap!
@Siham Al-Massri: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies’ eyes!!!
@Nahel Al-Massri: Lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting.
Majid: If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands.

@Marlon Travers : I CAN'T DO IT!
@Louis Travers, laughing: I CAN'T EITHER!
Marlon: I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE
@Myrthild Travers: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US.
Marlon:
Marlon: I appreciate it,
Marlon: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH-
@Bartholomeus Prewett: Marlon-
Marlon: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE!
@Corvus Travers: Marlon we gotta-
Marlon: YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT.
Marlon: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?'
Marlon, motioning to Adele: NOT FUCKING THIS

@Odalis Bayat: *Gently taps table*
@Jarod Nielsen: *Taps back*
Azaël: What are they doing?
Dwight: Morse code.
Odalis: *Aggressively taps table*
Jarod: *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-

And last but not least, les Marsh, everybody
@Silver Marsh: WHY. why did you give Dan a KNIFE?!
@Gina Marsh: I’m sorry. He said he felt unsafe.
Silver: Now I feel unsafe!
Gina: I’m sorry.
Gina: ... would you like a knife?

Session 2 des IQ spéciales famille
(j'suis en retard, ça devait arriver hier, oupsie )

@Bao Wang: Oh, my God, Quon! What are you eating? Gravel?
@Mengwu Wang: Oh, I know, right? It sounds like cufflinks going up a vacuum cleaner!
@Quon Wang: Well, why don't you sing about it?
Mengwu: [singing] Because I don't sing about everything I do!
Bao: No, no, sometimes you just sing nonsense words, like a stroke victim. And what's worse: they're catchy! Apple, Orchard, Banana Cat Dance.
Bao, Quon, @Martin Wang, @Sunny Wang: 8663.
Sunny: See, we know that one because you once sang it for like three hours? What the hell is that?
Mengwu: That's my password: AOBCD8663.

@Langford Prewett: This feud goes so far back, I don't even remember who fired the first shot.
@Bertram Prewett: You?
Langford: Totally!
(bon, Myrthild est désolée pour celle-là, once again )

@Rabastan Lestrange: I am not going to have sex with someone to get them to stop talking to me.
@Rodolphus Lestrange: Really? You and I are very different.
Rab: Yeah, I noticed.

@Andrés Nunier-García: Look. I might not have been a saint, but it's not like I killed anybody. I wasn't an arsonist. I never found a wallet outside of the Magical Menagerie and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground.
@Pia Nunier-Visconti: Okay, that's really specific, and that makes me think that you definitely did do that.

@Jarod Nielsen: You avoiding the family too?
@Corvus Travers: I'm gay, I'm black and I'm getting a divorce. Those walking skeletons are gonna have more questions for me than their pharmacists.

@Arthur Weasley: Whenever @Molly Weasley is mad at me, I tighten the lids on all of our jars so she has to get help from me.
*Sound of glass smashing in the background*
Arthur: It hasn’t worked yet, but it’ll happen.

Javier: Please don’t tell @Tristram Bullstrong.
@Matthew Bullstrong: You want me to lie to my husband?
Javi: Why? Is there a problem?
Matthew: No.

@Elias Runcorn: Be careful.
@Johannes Runcorn: Careful is my middle name.
Elias: I know your middle name. I wish it was “careful”, that would be less embarrassing.

@Elisabeth Shafiq: Wouldn’t it be romantic if we ate off the same plate tonight?
@Abbas Shafiq: You didn’t do the dishes, did you?
Lizzie: How did you know?

@Marlon Travers: *Letting @Freya Abbott beat him at arm wrestling* Aww, darn it! You won!
@Silver Marsh: *Slamming Gina’s hand down at full force* DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU GET, GINA? DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU MESS WITH A WARRIOR!?

@Frida Beckett: *About @Noris Sanders* I’m not saying @Laurel Beckett’s new boyfriend is bland, but if he was a spice, he’d be flour.

[La suite de la bouteille de parfum]
@Felicia Fawley: You’re drinking again?
@Finnegan Fawley: Relax, it’s just tea.
Felicia: What kind?
Finnegan: Tea…quila.

@Azra Shafiq: Just be yourself. Say something nice.
Abbas: Which one? I can't do both.

@Ephraim Guterman: Once Django is out of the way, I’ll have a clear shot at Romilda.
@Caleb Guterman: You know it’s love when you start talking like an assassin.

@Percival Weasley: Let’s just say I was president of the stenographers club in high school for a reason.
@George Weasley: Was the reason that you were the only member?
Percy: …Maybe.

*Ginny is trying to find out a secret*
@Ginevra Weasley: *Sharpens knife* I’ve got ways of making you talk.
Ginny: *Cuts a piece of cake*
@Ronald Weasley: …Can I have some?
Ginny: Cake is for talkers.

@Boris Bagshot: You spent our entire life savings on dogs?
@Olympe Bagshot: They’re golden retrievers, baby. They retrieve gold! I did it for us!

@camilla king: Why did you guys get kicked out of the movies?
@Gabriel King: We were yelling diving scores during Titanic when people jumped off the boat.
@Mallory Lopez: This one guy had a solid eight, let me tell you.

Cop: What are your names?
@Morrigan Farrow: Don’t tell him, Lance!
Cop: *Writing* Lance.
@Lance Farrow: Great job, Morrigan!
Lance: Oh no.